Top 10 Resolutions for Men
10. Find out why all my clothes have shrank. Again.
9. Read that book, â€œStop Procrastinatingâ€ that I bought three years ago.
8.Â Figure out why supermodels donâ€™t want to date plain, bald men as the media has led me to believe.
7. Prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
6. Prepare for dating supermodels in the zombie apocalypse (it could happen, right?)
5. Vamp up that eHarmony profile with some spiffy pics of ex-girlfriends half cut off in every profile picture. Thatâ€™s attractive, right?
4. Mention in eHarmony how Iâ€™m a great date and can zap a zombie.
3. Stock up on beer.
2. Stock up on condoms just in case!
1. Get a job.
ÂTop 10 New Yearâ€™s Resolutions for Women
10. Get some better outfits.
9. Hit the gym for real this year.
7. Cut back on lattes.
6. Take charge.
5. Travel more!
4. Believe in myself.
3. Wear all the shoes I have bought!
2. Screen the freaks on my online dating profile.
1. Stop dating losers who are obsessed with zombies on eHarmony.
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